That’s my one word to sum up parenthood.
My husband and I actually toasted last night to the fact that this is just the beginning. We are out of the diaper/toddler/food-throwing stage, and all three of our children are adjusted well in school. Well, at least they are seemingly well-adjusted. My 13-year-old and 10-year-old daughters are in some real transitional ages. The younger is obsessed with a British boy band, the older with flat-irons, and they both are comfortably submerged in the technological age.
So Matt and I felt the need for yet another discussion on media—what they are and are not allowed to use it for, the potential dangers, and especially the attention that they are giving these little devices. This is, of course, fairly new waters in parenting because the availability and therefore endless avenues of technology are like never before. But the heart issues are the same.
When I was a teenager I was overly concerned about what boys thought about me, what girls thought about me, and I spent endless hours chatting on the phone and watching MTV. One of the things that I’m thankful for as a parent now is that instead of pouring their hearts out on the phone where I can’t hear it, friends these days send text messages that are available for me to investigate…and that I do!
But it is so hard! Sure, Matt and I are raising our kids in the church, we do studies together as a family, we talk about our hopes and concerns for them, the implications of the gospel, we eat happy (yet chaotic) dinners together every night, we have boundaries to protect and guide them. One day they totally get it and are thankful we are there for them, and the next we look like overbearing, out of touch lunatics in their eyes. “Everyone has a Facebook account, mom, even the home school kids!”…
Just when Matt and I begin to think we’ve hit a good parenting groove…sabotage!
My own sanctification seems a lot like that sometimes.
Matt and I have even been somewhat open with the kids about how we also wrestle with wisdom and discernment in some of the very same areas that they are now beginning to. Some days we feel like failures as God’s children and failures as our kid’s parents. The parenting thing was so much easier when we could strap them in and tell them to eat all their vegetables. We are now entering a new kind of exhaustion.
As we toasted to this only being the beginning, I thought about how sabotage is real. We give lip service to Paul’s exhortation to put on the whole armor of God in Ephesians, and we acknowledge that we are in a spiritual warfare. But, I seem to forget the context of this verse. It follows his admonition to parents and children. After calling us to unity and love, he warns us of real sabotage.
Thankfully, when my wits are properly outfitted, I remember that my God uses my perceived sabotage for his own glory and the good of his people. That is no less than being conformed to the image of his Son, the whole armor of God.
It is this morning, as I am nervously thinking of upcoming high school and middle school-aged daughters, that I need to hear “be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might” (Eph. 6:10). These clothes just won’t do; I’m going to need some warrior gear.
We have a nine yr old and a ten year old, Aimee. (As well as a few younger people who still throw food.) We are dealing with this issue too. Just last night at the dinner table 9 & 10 were asking if they could have their own tablets. (“Um. No.”) Limiting their screen time is a constant challenge for us!
I must say I’m encouraged by the fact that even though you “spent endless hours chatting on the phone and watching MTV” you still grew up to be very wise.
Adriana, if you think MTV and phone chatter is something, I should advise that I spent my childhood reading comic books and watching TV until my eyeballs would go dry. Good times, good times.
Tim
And now you read Jane Austen.
This does give me hope.
Yes, a lot of people look at me and say, “Well, I suppose there’s still hope for Tim.”
“… some real transitional ages.” Wow, do I ever remember those when our kids were entering their teens. And then it turns out at 20 and 22 they are in yet another transitional age. Will this never end?! I suppose not.
Your point on how the warrior gear is described after Paul talks about family dynamics is a great insight as well, Aimee. It’s kind of like he’s saying, “You’re in for a wild ride, so strap on the gear and get ready.”
I’m glad our gear is all about the Spirit of Christ living in us. He’s a much better warrior than I anyway.
Yes! As Tim mentioned the Spirit of Christ living in us is a much better warrior. It is our only Hope. My husband Greg always said to me when we were raising our children,”Susie be consistant with your disipline and love and tell them about God’s Grace.” We listened alot to them and their friends (which helped us understand our kids better). I do think one of our best “strategies” was to be very involved in alot of their functions at youth group and school. That helped us “see” where other parents were coming from and what families we wanted our kinds to be influenced by. By no means did we do it perfectly but thankfully by God’s amazing grace they have families of their own now and are raising those children to His Glory. …and so it goes on and we now share with them…”be consistant with your discipline and love and tell them about God’s Grace!”